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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
How do I handle my 16 year old son, in love ?
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
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How do I handle my 16 year old son, in love ?
by melinda, Dec 12, 1999 12:00AM
I have a 16 year old son. My problem is, He is in his first relationship with a girl who has alot of problems with her family life. Her parents are divorced and she lives with each one of them also both sets of grandparents. She is at different households all the time. The problem with my son is he has given up everything for this girl. He is no longer interested in anything (examples: sports, t.v., weight training) He just got his first job and had problems with her calling all the time while he was working, he also just walked off the job to spend time with her without my knowledge, and was fired from the job. I have refused to let him see her anymore. I don't know what else to do. He skips school to see her and I have just went crazy with worry over this. He informed two days ago that he wants to move out. What should I do?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Dec 13, 1999 12:00AM
, Dec 13, 1999 12:00AM
Dear Melinda,
As you're seeing, such teen relationships can be all-consuming. There's probably little to be gained from prohibiting contact entirely. Rather, try to strike a reasonable agreement with your son, whereby he will see his friend and also attend to other matters (particularly responsibilities - school, work - as opposed to interests).
To a certain extent, your son will need to learn from his own experiences. So don't be surprised if he doesn't take to heart what you have learned in your own life. Teens are famous for not directly responding to our wisdom learned over many years.
The goal is to reach some accord, not to fight, re: social relationships and activities.
As you're seeing, such teen relationships can be all-consuming. There's probably little to be gained from prohibiting contact entirely. Rather, try to strike a reasonable agreement with your son, whereby he will see his friend and also attend to other matters (particularly responsibilities - school, work - as opposed to interests).
To a certain extent, your son will need to learn from his own experiences. So don't be surprised if he doesn't take to heart what you have learned in your own life. Teens are famous for not directly responding to our wisdom learned over many years.
The goal is to reach some accord, not to fight, re: social relationships and activities.
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