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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
 | 
Sex and Violence
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

Sex and Violence

by Mary, Feb 05, 2000 12:00AM
Today, while cleaning my 14 years old daughter's room, I found a "Dream Book" (Day Dreams and Night Dreams) that a friend gave to her on Christmas. This book is like a journal and when it fell in the floor from the bed the words ..."carving on my arm"...caught my attention. I started reading this book and I am very affraid for her well being. In this book she writes about dreams (I think!) that she has, where she describes in graphic details about sexual intercourse, self mutilation and masochism. It also seems tragic with lots of cutting with knife, lost blood and fainting, etc. She likes to write and I don't know if these are only "dreams" or if I should look for professional help. She's a good, quiet girl, has now her first boyfriend, likes to read Anne Rice and Dean Koontz the most. She loves music, plays bass in the School Orchestra and listens to what her older sister use to in her age. She seems to prefer to wear dark clothes, like most of her friends... She's in high school now (9th grade) and doing very well (has a 3.4 gpa); always does her home work, etc. What scares me the most is that I also found in the purse that she takes to school a small knife that my husband tought he had lost.

Should I seek professional help? A Counselor or Psycologist?

Should I talk to her? What should I be looking for?

Please, help me.



Thanks,

Neide

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Feb 06, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Neide,



Now that you have read your daughter's journal, and as a result have in your possession some worrisome information, I think you must address this with your daughter.



To begin, be honest with her about your having read the journal. Tell her what, in particular, you are worried about. Listen in a thoughtful, respectful manner, and be patient if she expresses upset about your having read her private reflections.



Regardless of how the conversation goes, it would be wise to seek a professional consultation to help you all sort through this. Self-mutilation or cutting often occurs in a hidden way, and is clearly problematic. Whatever the case, you will rest easy knowing that you are doing the responsible thing by seeking professional help.
Member Comments (2)

by Michelle, Feb 22, 2000 12:00AM
My 7yo daughter was diagnosed with ADD (a dx I am still not certain I "believe" in) approx 4 months ago.  She was fidgety, a day dreamer, a slob, forgetful and compulsive, but actually quite a pleasant child.  Not a bother at home, but a school she couldn't get a thing done.  Often couldn't remember something from one minute to the next.  She took 5mg Dexadrine Spansules for 1 month.  The first week we saw an amazing improvemnt.  Average Spelling test score went from 30% to 90%.  She finished all her classwork that week for the first time ever. Eventually, it started to taper down. After a month we discussed the changes and lack of changes with her doctor and he decided to increase to dose to 10mg.  She has remained about the same.  We have started taking her to a tutor.  She can finish most things.  She hasn't become a scholar, but atleast is normal.The only side effects we have noticed are occasional loss of appetite ad moodiness when she starts taking them again after she has been off of the medication for holidays and such.  I only give it to her so she can concentrate and not fail in school.  I have many adult family members with behavioral and social problems., i.e. alchoholism, depression, anxiety, bipolar, violent behavior and the like.  I feel that my daughter could easily follow the same path as the rest of my family.  Somehow the gene skipped me.  I hate for her to have to take medication but don't want her to be a failure in life by making poor decisions like so many in my family.  Most are in their 40's and 50's now and have only begun to straighten out their life after seeking treatmet and beginning to take various medications.  So, I am writing this to convince myself I have made the right decision for my daughter.  So many opinions out there.  Also, I have read several articles that lead me to believe that 10 mg is too much for her.  I was under the impression that the higher dose could possibly increase the risk of side effects.  I guess what this long story is asking is; is there some major health concern I should be aware of in respect to her dosage?  I feel like the doctors we see give us the run around and just want to diagnose something, anything and take our money.  She is going to see a new pediatrician tomorrow that I hope will take the time to explain and give me information on long term effects.
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