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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
voyeurism
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
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voyeurism
by Babs, Jan 29, 2001 12:00AM
I have a son, 13, whom I believe to be engaged in the practice of voyeurism. I noticed he would go outside at night "to get some air", with increasing frequency. I suspected he was up to something and tried to catch him at it several times, with no luck. THen last week, my 17 year old daughter came home one evening, he immediately came out of his bedroom and said he was going to take the dog for a walk. I had just brought our dog in and told him so. He returned to his room. I went in and confronted him in as nice a manner as I could. I asked why he always went outside when my daughter camed home and he shrugged. I then told him "I know what you're doing. It's wrong, it's not done and it's illegal." I didn't tell my husband, because he has a violent temper with certain things and if he found this out, he would probably have such a violent reaction it would cause the police to be called..by me... or perhaps my son to run away. I thought it would be over since I put a filter on the computer to keep him from his late night sessions on porn sites (he doesn't know I know about that)and confronted him about his night time excursions. Last night he took a shower. Shortly after he got out, the police were next door looking for someone who had been looking in the girl's window. I am certain it was my son, but had no opportunity to speak with him privately. I hope he got a good enough scare to quit doing it, but if not, then what? I'm terrified for his future and what other things this could lead to.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jan 29, 2001 12:00AM
, Jan 29, 2001 12:00AM
Sometimes it is difficult, without reasonable cooperation ond revelation from the child, to discern normal from abnormal behavior when it concerns the curiosity about sexual matters in an early adolescent.
If indeed your son is engaging in voyeuristic behavior, it can be a cause for alarm. It depends on the extent to which he can respond to reality, including limits set on the behavior, or is less able to control his impulses. If his behavior is problematic, and continues to be, it warrants the involvement of a mental health professional.
The situation would be better managed if you and your husband can address it together. I'm sure you sense that it's not a healthy climate for one parent to feel compelled to refrain from speaking with their spouse about important parenting issues. If your son does require professional intervention, your husband will need to know about it. Try to figure out how best to address this part of the problem. Perhaps you and he need to speak with a professional yourself about this aspect.
If indeed your son is engaging in voyeuristic behavior, it can be a cause for alarm. It depends on the extent to which he can respond to reality, including limits set on the behavior, or is less able to control his impulses. If his behavior is problematic, and continues to be, it warrants the involvement of a mental health professional.
The situation would be better managed if you and your husband can address it together. I'm sure you sense that it's not a healthy climate for one parent to feel compelled to refrain from speaking with their spouse about important parenting issues. If your son does require professional intervention, your husband will need to know about it. Try to figure out how best to address this part of the problem. Perhaps you and he need to speak with a professional yourself about this aspect.
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put a parent lock on his computor. Or try taking it away. good luck to you.