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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Concerned about note my 6yo wrote
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
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Concerned about note my 6yo wrote
by cdwillis24, Mar 02, 2007 12:00AM
My 6 year old son is in Kindergarten. Yesterday I found a piece of paper in his backpack which said:
Plans
Kick the water fountain
Rip the school
Kill the security guard
Bring a knife to school
Bring a gun to school.
I asked him if he had written this and he first tried to say that he had heard a 3rd grader say it. Then he said that that didn't really happen that he just made it up and wrote this down at his after school daycare. He said that he did talk about it with his friend Braeden, but that he was saying it and his friend was just saying "yeah". I asked him if he was upset about something at school and tried to ask questions to find out how those words would even get in his head. He said he just wanted to go to the school at night to play. He does not have problems getting along with the other kids at school, his conduct grade is always an A. In fact, his teacher had just made a note on his report card stating how well he was doing and that he always tries to do the right thing. We explained to him the seriousness of what he wrote, but he wasn't very responsive when we would ask him where he would have heard something like that. I asked if he had heard any stories about kids bringing guns to school and he said no. He insists he didn't hear it anywhere, that he just made it up. I don't understand how a 6 year old could come up with this. Should we be concerned? Should we take further action as far as possibly having him talk to a counselor or just wait and see if he exhibits any further behavior such as this?
Plans
Kick the water fountain
Rip the school
Kill the security guard
Bring a knife to school
Bring a gun to school.
I asked him if he had written this and he first tried to say that he had heard a 3rd grader say it. Then he said that that didn't really happen that he just made it up and wrote this down at his after school daycare. He said that he did talk about it with his friend Braeden, but that he was saying it and his friend was just saying "yeah". I asked him if he was upset about something at school and tried to ask questions to find out how those words would even get in his head. He said he just wanted to go to the school at night to play. He does not have problems getting along with the other kids at school, his conduct grade is always an A. In fact, his teacher had just made a note on his report card stating how well he was doing and that he always tries to do the right thing. We explained to him the seriousness of what he wrote, but he wasn't very responsive when we would ask him where he would have heard something like that. I asked if he had heard any stories about kids bringing guns to school and he said no. He insists he didn't hear it anywhere, that he just made it up. I don't understand how a 6 year old could come up with this. Should we be concerned? Should we take further action as far as possibly having him talk to a counselor or just wait and see if he exhibits any further behavior such as this?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Mar 03, 2007 12:00AM
, Mar 03, 2007 12:00AM
Yes, you should definitely follow up on this and not wait for any further developments. You are right in trying to understand what might have contributed to such aggressive ideation on his part. There are certainly children who appear very calm and contained and who yet harbor some pretty angry feelings and aggressive thoughts. Usually such things are in response to (a) some event that has just occurred, (b) having been contaged by a peer or (c) the cumulative result of insidious developments (e.g., teasing, taunting) over time. Whatever, the case, it would be prudent to follow up with a counselor and to check with the school about the possibility of something that might have occurred to generate such writing. Can you tell when the comments were written? Knowing that piece of information might help to narrow the focus.
Kick the water fountain
Rip the school
Kill the security guard
Bring a knife to school
Bring a gun to school.
Most 6-year old children in grade 1 are unable to spell the majority of these words let alone compose a list. I doubt the sincerity of this posting.
Kick the water fountain
Rip the school
Kill the security guard
Bring a knife to school
Bring a gun to school
I do not know of any 6-year old Grade 1 students who are capable of spelling these words. I doubt the sincerity of this posting.
I am espeicially sorry that it was made worse by having your sincerity questioned. That is inappropriate. Generally the community at this site is very supportive and positive and I hope you will not let one individual taint your experience.
These violent video games are a sort of modern day Clue "in the parlor with the rope" on one level but on another level it can be a dangerous influence on some kids I think.
Im not trying to minimize the issue at all but just thought I'd add another possible influencing factor. There have been studies showing how very young children can be influenced by this stuff. It is not uncommon to have crime "check lists" of that sort in these games. Many of them the goal is to kill off people in your effort to "move up" a level and you select weapons and make plans in your efforts to arrive at the higher levels.
I know the list he made frightened you, but really for a 6 year old to articulate that well and be able to make a list at all shows how very intelligent he is I think.