Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Defiant 4 year old
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
 |
Defiant 4 year old
by Silas1066, Mar 15, 2007 12:00AM
My boy just turned 4, and is having a lot of problems. He can be violent towards other children, including his 1 year old brother, frequently spits at his teachers, mother, and father, has explosive tantrums over trivial things, and is very uncooperative. He knows how to use the toilet, but refuses. Sometimes he is really sweet: it's 50% angel and 50% devil.
We originally used time outs in his room -but that didn't work. he would pound on the door endlessly. Taking away toys didn't seem to do much. We even resorted to spanking if he got really out of control, but that seemed to only make matters worse. Now we are using time outs in a chair in the kitchen, adding a minute if he continues to act up. The first time this was done, he was in the chair for 4 hours!
I'm at my wits end. Any advice would be great.
We originally used time outs in his room -but that didn't work. he would pound on the door endlessly. Taking away toys didn't seem to do much. We even resorted to spanking if he got really out of control, but that seemed to only make matters worse. Now we are using time outs in a chair in the kitchen, adding a minute if he continues to act up. The first time this was done, he was in the chair for 4 hours!
I'm at my wits end. Any advice would be great.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Mar 15, 2007 12:00AM
, Mar 15, 2007 12:00AM
It will be imoprtant for you to stick with a plan, even if initially your son is not responding in what you would regard as a favorable way (I'm assuming, of course, that whatever plan you stick with is sound). Your reliance on time out is actually a good idea, but you are definitely going to go through some tough times. It's an example of the old adage that sometimes things get worse before they get better. Take a look at Lynn Clarks' book SOS: Help for Parents. It will give you an authoritative, practical guide on the behavior management front. In addition, because of the intensity of your son's emotional reactions and aggressive, oppositional/defiant behavior, he should be evaluated by a pediatric menatl health clinician. Is there any family history of mood disorders? The potential biological aspects of your son's condition need to be evaluated.
Communities
Ask a Doctor Forums
Tools and Applications
Personal Information
Medical Information
Doctors and Partners