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Can anyone relate to this?
by pbintx, Jul 13, 2001 12:00AM
Today is my 12th day free from Hydrocodone. I had been using for about 6-7 months and it got up to around 100-120 mg per day. I went into a 5 day inpatient detox and came out fine. No cravings or anymore withdrawals.
Now here is my problem. The Dr. gave me Trazadone to help me sleep. That was working fine for the first week up until the last 2 nights. I have had 2 VERY intense dreams each night. The first night it woke me and I was able to go back to sleep. Well, last night I had a continuance of the first nights dream and it woke me at 2:30 am and I had a tremendous amount of Rage in me. I was not able to go back to sleep the entire night. The dream involved my wife having an affair. I absolutely do not suspect that she is. She works full time and we have 2 small children and that keeps her very occupied and we really have been getting along great since I kicked the Hydro. and we didn't rally have many problems before.
Can anyone relate to any of this
Now here is my problem. The Dr. gave me Trazadone to help me sleep. That was working fine for the first week up until the last 2 nights. I have had 2 VERY intense dreams each night. The first night it woke me and I was able to go back to sleep. Well, last night I had a continuance of the first nights dream and it woke me at 2:30 am and I had a tremendous amount of Rage in me. I was not able to go back to sleep the entire night. The dream involved my wife having an affair. I absolutely do not suspect that she is. She works full time and we have 2 small children and that keeps her very occupied and we really have been getting along great since I kicked the Hydro. and we didn't rally have many problems before.
Can anyone relate to any of this
1) welcome to the forum.the fact that you "jumped right in" says
a lot about your willingness to clean up your hand.
2) stay with us-you will find a unique blend of personalitys that
all have chronic pain and/or adddiction in common.
3) this forum can't do much for you if you just ghost it. you've
got to jump in and participate.
iwas in recovery through NA for 18 years. Befoe i used herione,
morphine,dilauded, & what ever else i could cook down in a spoon
and draw up into a hypo. A good sponcer, NA & the grace of God as
i uderstand him saved my life.
cervical spine problems led me to hydro's. after 2 surgerys, 1 attempt to end my miserable life, oxy contin in ever increasing doses, and lots of oxyir's here i am. this forum saved my ass.
about 10 years ago (i was still clean in recovery) i started having a repetitive dream, I & an old using budddy were lost in
a city in the pacific NW. We were trying to locate the local
methadone clinic so we could meet some junkys and score some black
tar heroin. the first time i awoke from this dream (it was somehow painfully beautiful) i remember thinking "damm that was far out,sort like a Guss VanZandt movie." i kept having this dream every night for 10 days. each night the dream became less beautiful & moe scarry. After the 10th. night i thought i was
going crazy. every thing at home or work some how either reminded
me of, or looked just like a big old spoon of black tar heroine
cooki' down! I started thinking & then believing the only way this
painful yet beautifull dream and the day time obcession, would go away was to use drugs again. it was one of the worst periods i've
ever had clean. Pride or some other stupid **** kept me from talkin about it to anyone. I finally did confide all this **** to
a fellow member of NA.We talked several uours about it.I noticed
that the obcession was gone.no more visions of black tar h. cooking down. no more dreams of looking for the metadone clinic to
hook up with other junkys and score. An hour or two of talk with
another addict who wanted to be something more than a junky and it
was gone. that simple , that real.
please stick around- we all need each other!
kip
Looking forward to it infact.
Good luck to you all in beating your addictions, and having the opportunity to 'feel' everything, good and bad, again!!!!!
It's a major step, but i believe worth every inch!
Love Jenny
I took Trazadone as well about a year ago, and had bad dreams. Not only that, but my blood pressure dropped to 75/50. Then one afternoon about 30 minutes after a dose, my heart began to race so fast that my wife, who used to be in the medical field, could not count the beats. It was beating so fast, it was cavitating and not pumping much blood. It went away by itself. I've not taken another dose since.
I'm taking oxy for intractable back pain. As I said, I went to SF for a vacation. And listen to what I did with my drugs. I had a week's worth in one of those flat Certs containers in my wallet. I had an entire prescription in the safe in my room. My wife had a week's worth with her in Miami where she went to start her Ph.D. orientation (she was going to Fedex them to me in Miami if I ran into trouble - like theft from two different places.) My good friend in Savannah had the key to my home and knowledge of where I have another stash, ready to Fedex them to me on an instant's notice. And my daughter, who went with me to SF, had four days' worth in her purse (another trouble buffer).
That's FIVE sources of oxy that I'd arranged, four of which were backups just in case. Didn't need any of them. But I was amused at the lengths I went to insuring that I wouldn't face running out. If I was half as motivated to make money, I'd be filthy rich in a year.
ANGELICA - I just saw your 6.28 post. Yep, it's an S.I. joint problem, along with a crushed L4
I took Trazadone as well about a year ago, and had bad dreams. Not only that, but my blood pressure dropped to 75/50. Then one afternoon about 30 minutes after a dose, my heart began to race so fast that my wife, who used to be in the medical field, could not count the beats. It was beating so fast, it was cavitating and not pumping much blood. It went away by itself. I've not taken another dose since.
I'm taking oxy for intractable back pain. As I said, I went to SF for a vacation. And listen to what I did with my drugs. I had a week's worth in one of those flat Certs containers in my wallet. I had an entire prescription in the safe in my room. My wife had a week's worth with her in Miami where she went to start her Ph.D. orientation (she was going to Fedex them to me in Miami if I ran into trouble - like theft from two different places.) My good friend in Savannah had the key to my home and knowledge of where I have another stash, ready to Fedex them to me on an instant's notice. And my daughter, who went with me to SF, had four days' worth in her purse (another trouble buffer).
That's FIVE sources of oxy that I'd arranged, four of which were backups just in case. Didn't need any of them. But I was amused at the lengths I went to insuring that I wouldn't face running out. If I was half as motivated to make money, I'd be filthy rich in a year.
ANGELICA - I just saw your 6.28 post. Yep, it's an S.I. joint problem, along with a crushed L4, a mis-shapen ankle bone, and other things. There's a four-inch titanium bolt through my pelvis into my spine holding things together. No relief from the pain, though, and the crushed L4 (a wedge fracture, actually) is nerve-involved. I never knew you could hurt so badly and so unrelieved. What in hell did they do before opiates? Die from pain?
THOMAS - Just an excuse to say hello my friend. Hope you can make it over here one day for that fishing trip. And I hope you're continuing to do well clean and sober. You're an inspriation to us all, I think. What is it now? five months clean? Think about you lots, and send energy to you too - the blue-white kind with the golden sparkles.
EVERYONE - Hang in friends. What a place this is. We all should get together in some central location, like St. Louis.
Peace and Love,
Frank
My very limited supply has been quite a good motivator as far as getting down doing real tapering. The Valium "hangs around" the system much longer than Xanax or