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monkey on my back

by TJack, Nov 27, 2008 08:31PM
To my girls and some of you guys, you know who you are.   I feel like such a loser.   I just can't quit.  I  am on a list at Ohsu in portland tto see a pychishiatirst.  75 of em but i guess there are lots of us loonies out here.  Thinking of you all and hope you have had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  WE truly have lots to be thankful for.  Love to you all. TJ
Member Comments (8)

by boogieman, Nov 27, 2008 10:01PM
To: tjack
howdy. first, you're not a loser. i know it can feel like it but as long as you're still trying, you haven't lost. ya that dam monkey can be persistent, especially when it turns into a gorilla (that's what mine do about this time of year). all i got is right now, and i've proven how fast i can change that, but i 'm just as close to it as you. we're not bad people trying to become good, we're sick and trying to get well. i've seen you help others in your posts, and that alone makes you an asset no matter how many times it takes----lord knows i must hold some kind of record at the local treatment facility. anyhoo, hope things look brighter soon and glad you're still with us. take care,  gm

by ibizan, Nov 28, 2008 05:41AM
To: TJack
I know i have ESP..or it is my gypsy heritage...was out in backyard yestday nice breezy morn with dogs thinking of u...no hear and that is not good!For as long as i have cyber-known u u pick up that damn drink when u r emotionally overwhelmed....u cave in2 a anxious moment....i hope u see a psych person who is savvy to addiction and addicted folks needs for there r so many who r not as we well know.U CAN QUIT..u have done it b4...can do it again.....like Brian Auger sings c'mon get up.....try it again....happiness is just around the bend.....so many ppl thought i would never succeed girl....so many...i suprised em all!Got my 25 years 11-22!Thanked my brother who at the time was the ONLY family member who encouraged me.....and yes even though this country is riddled with a mess of problems we still have a lot to be grateful for when u look at other countries like the Congo,Darfur now that tragedy in Mubai......sigh what a world dear but we live in it and must strive to try to make it better...such as u must strive to make urself better.....and i know u do possess the tools to do it!:)Mega gigantic cyber hug and many prayers for u!:)

by TJack, Nov 28, 2008 03:55PM
To: gm/ibi
Thank you both for your posts.  i was so sick yesterday.  I don't know what is going on with me.  I got up at 2 am to go to the bathroom and fainted in the bathroom, hit by head on the door jam.  hubby came running and also my daughter.  I laid there a little while and then got up.  hubby had a hold of me and the next thing i knew i was waking up in the hallway.  i wish we would have checked my bp.  It was low this morning> 104 top number. But, i don't think that is too low.  Although mine usually runs more in the 140s.  You are so right about this world.  Poor people suffering and being killed everywhere.  I am just so dang depressed.  Going to Okla. on Wed with my daughter and granddaughters.  Oh how i dread it.   No vacation, just more stress.  Y'all are so great and i appreciate you caring about me.  i won't ever give up.  HUGS big time. TJ

by ibizan, Nov 28, 2008 08:11PM
To: TJack
were u sick from drinking?hungover?if not did u get off those oxyc's?whens the last time u had complete physical?just checking dear.....i'm fulla questions!if ur drinking it just makes ya more depressed.....as we well know...lotsa prayers for u dear...and for all the ppl hurting in this world....and for the family members of the dead in Mumbai.Freakin nuts!!!sigh!

by TJack, Nov 29, 2008 09:09AM
To: ibi
No painpills.  No hangover.  I do believe my blood pressure dropped.  I am so thankful that this morning i feel really good.   Just a little sore.  I think this gastric bypass was the beginning of all these problems.  
Thank you for your concern and caring words.  My family has been so worried.  Wanted me to go to urgent care or ER.  Last time the fainting episodes happened i did and had blood workup and all was fine.  
Hope you, your Mom and your pooches are good. The deal in Mumbai is so senseless, but isn't it all?  Tragedy everywhere.   Hugs, tonya

by ibizan, Nov 29, 2008 06:32PM
To: tjack
when did u have the bypass surgery?i didn't know that!pooches and cats good....we took a good meal in2 mom yesterday...i could tell she initially didn't recognize me...that dementia makes the brain misfire....i can tell by her facial xpression that she is struggling 2 connect...and cannot so she doesn't speak until she feels sure....she is a trooper at age 90 with this disease....battles it constantly....prayers for the Mumbai survivors family members....and for u my dear!:)

by TJack, Nov 30, 2008 04:20PM
To: Ibi
bypass surgery was 5 years ago.  I did great for a few years.  but then hydrocodone became my problem instead of food.  Then the alcohol after i got off the hydros.
So sorry to hear of your Moms decline.  Mine sounds good on the phone.  We are going on Wed.  So i will be gone from here after tomorrow and out of touch.  i will be back home on the 12th or 13th.  Thank you for your prayers.  We all need them and yes across the world as well.  Hugs, TJ

by ibizan, Dec 01, 2008 08:01AM
To: tjack
thanks for the kind words on mom...but given her age and where she was 3 years ago how she is today is fairly good and natural progression for the dementia.Alzheimers is worse...she thinks she has Alzheimers......we will not tell her of the dementia for she thinks that is worse!But the docs predicted all that is going on and we are thankful for where she is at now for it is a far cry from the mess we had 3 years ago.Safe travels my dear.....and as always many prayers for u!and the world!sigh!:)
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