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can use some advice

by smr08, Nov 28, 2008 05:04PM

Hi!! I'm new to this group and this is my first question. I'm 41yrs old(young ha-ha)and have 3 children ages 21 - 20 and 11 I had a m/c in 1995 (3wks) an ectopic in 1996 (4wks)and delivered my son on 10/17/08 at 171/2 wks. I've been thinking alot about getting pregnant again but I can't say that i'm not afraid. I just got over my first af since the loss of my son. My question is " is it to soon to be feeling this way?" My OB said that there is no reason why we can't try again. I just don't want people to think that i'm trying to replace my son. Any advice???

Member Comments (8)

by Luckejem, Nov 28, 2008 05:18PM

To: can use some advice

There is nothing wrong with trying again.... I just lost my son two weeks ago, and we are going to try again, we are scared things will go wrong, as we lost the baby at five months pregnant, but we both want a baby even though a new baby will not replaced the one we lost, I will always miss him, and he will always be remembered ...... Hope I helped

by smr08, Nov 28, 2008 05:35PM

To: Luckejem

I'm sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about my son. Thanks for sharing, it was a help.

by adgal

, Nov 28, 2008 06:25PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too have suffered multiple miscarriage, although for me they were all first trimester. I have always started trying again right after each loss. No one can replace your son, and I can't imagine anyone thinking you are trying to do that. We all deal with our grief in our own way, and if you feel the time is right, then that is exactly what you should do. I know there is fear involved, I too am very frightened to go through it all again, but my desire to have a baby is stronger then my fear. We have to stay positive, and trust that all will be well. Take care, and I wish you all the best.

by Miranda9, Nov 28, 2008 06:59PM

To: smr08

Hi there,
I'm sorry for the loss of your son.  As Adgal said, noone can replace your son and I don't think anybody would think that.

I can relate to your fear.   I just turned 42 and had 2 miscarriages this past year; almost a year apart, because I was not ready to ttc again.

My last m/c was in October and on doctor's recommendation I have waited one AF cycle before trying again.  Well, that time is now and unlike a year ago, I am ready to try again.

So don't give up hope! I haven't! I wish you all the best.

by 40smama, Nov 29, 2008 03:28AM

smr - I lost a little girl at 19 weeks - personally it took me a long time to get over it but if you're ready to ttc, I think that's great and to go for it. I'm glad that you're so strong & positive - your attitude will take you a long way & I mean that. Stay that way - you'll have wonderful success - SSBD, jen

by tbeards, Nov 29, 2008 08:38AM

People will always judge no matter what the timing is so try not to have anyone influence your decision. I am so sorry for your loss of your son, I just can't imagine going through that ever. I think that if your body feels right and your doctor says go for it, I would go ahead. I think you would find that you could never really pick the "perfect" time anyway.

SSBD!!!!

by smr08, Nov 29, 2008 11:19AM

To: all

I want to thank everyone for their support! I'm so glad that I found this group. I wish the best to all of you!!!

Lori

by LisaRG, Nov 29, 2008 02:21PM

I was so sorry to hear about your son.
I have had two m/c in the first trimester.
The first thing I wanted to do after my m/c was ttc. I think it's a natural reaction. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have another baby.
I wish you the best in the future.
Lisa

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